Recent updates from the hospital

The magnesium has been stopped! Hallelujah! That stuff is the worst, but it did get my contractions to slow way down. So now the plan is to take Motrin to make sure contractions are chilled out and to GO HOME TOMORROW!! Yay!! Hoping that everything goes well tonight and tomorrow morning so that I can go home and really rest :) thanks for all the prayers!! 

Hospital Updates

First of all I want to say thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. I was very nervous about sharing Alex's story but I felt relieved that we had so many people, many that I've never even met, in our corner and interceding for us. I also want to thank all of the brave people who have shared similar stories with us. I pray that I can find strength and encouragement through your story and that the Lord continues to comfort and heal you. Thank you all again. 

So, hospital updates. 

Wednesday afternoon we went for our weekly ultrasound and monitoring. It's amazing to me how challenging the ultrasounds are now that the boys are getting so big! We were able to get a weight estimate on Sam - 3.4 lbs! It's too hard to get accurate measurement son Alex because of his condition, so he will be our little mystery until he arrives. 

Speaking of arrival...while I was having my monitoring done, I was having multiple contractions in a rhythmic pattern.  I've been having these for weeks now but since there is no pain, I haven't paid any attention to them. But just to be sure, the nurse thought it would be a good idea to check the length of my cervix via internal ultrasound. (I had been checking "manually" aka fingers to your throat, the week before and was closed so I didn't think much of being checked this week) so, they checked my cervical length and it was only 5mm. A healthy length is 25mm. So they were nervous and so was I. The doctor decided to move me to the hospital to administer meds to slow down the contractions and continue to monitor my cervix for dilation. 

So we moved to the hospital at about 4:30 and have just had SO much fun since then. Here is the lowdown:

- started iv of basic fluids

- was cleared to eat some dinner (hello Wendy's! Thanks to the FIL)

- had my cervix checked via speculum (love that!) was about 1 cm 

- got moved to an actual room instead of a triage room

- started magnesium in my iv, then noticed immediately that my iv site was itching and my arm had swollen up. The fluid was going into my arm. So scary, but everything was fine) 

- got new iv site on my right hand and started a strong drip of magnesium (which makes you feel like you have the flu. Hot all over, burning and watery eyes, muscle soreness, all the fun stuff)

- changed to slow drip of magnesium (much better but still fever like)

- started a new antibiotic drip for an bacterial infection I have

- had a steroid shot at midnight to help with the babies' lungs just in case

- had to insert progesterone capsules into my lady tunnel

- changed rooms 

- got hooked up to some nice compression socks to make sure my circulation was good

All of this while also having a blood pressure cuff, pulse of monitor, and baby/contraction monitoring on the entire time. Needless to say, it is super fun when I try to get up to pee. 

The doctors and new nurses will be making their rounds soon so I will update again later. As far as we know right now we will have to be here until at least midnight because that is when I will get my second steroid shot. They might keep me on the magnesium for 24 hours, so we will check that also. 

Until the next lovely cervical check,

Courtney

Monthly Dates with the Husband

I always struggle with what to get my husband for Christmas. Do you?

So, this year, I decided to get him something that would keep giving all year long and would include something important to both of us - spending time together. We both prefer experiences over material things, so planning monthly dates was something that seemed perfect.

I started with lots of research on pinterest on what some great date ideas would be, then got my envelopes together. I wrote poems for each of the month's gifts and bought some little things to go along with some of the dates. Here is the date for January. :) 

We love to go to a Rockets game once a year, but this year, the timing was just off, so I decided to bring the game to him. 

I started with the snacks. I love to get nachos, and he loves to have pretzel dogs. So I made both. YUM! 

The next step to this being an awesome date was the Rockets tumblers. Chase's brother and his family go to Houston every year for Christmas (so jealous). This year they were able to go to a Rockets game, so I conspired with them to buy some of the tumblers that they sell drinks in. Chase LOVED getting the tumblers as a gift since we don't have any that are for the Rockets. 

The game turned out to be not so great, but we had a fun time on our date :) Can't wait for February! 

- Courtney

The Game Changer

Our 12 week appointment came so quickly. I had been having dreams about getting to see our babies (ah!) again and I really hoped that we could have another ultrasound, but I wasn’t sure how frequently we would be getting ultrasounds. When we first got to the appointment, we were taken back into the room and had a normal office visit. Before the doctor came in, we were told that they were going to do an ultrasound after all, just to make sure that both babies heartbeats were seen since using a Doppler to hear can be a little tricky with two babies. (They wanted to make sure they heard both of them distinctly and weren’t just hearing one heartbeat two separate times). We were so excited to get to see our little peanuts again!

We went in for the ultrasound and there was a student there doing the ultrasound and our regular sonographer also. The ultrasound began and it was incredible! They had grown so much! We could actually see legs and arms and heads and heartbeats. They looked more like little humans and were wiggling like crazy! Chase and I fell in love with our little wiggle worms and could've stared at that screen all day.

The student asked the sonographer to take over because she was having a hard time looking at one of the twins. The sonographer stepped in and they did some more scans. We didn’t think anything of it, because we were just so overjoyed watching them both move.

We went back into the room and waited for my doctor to come in. When she did, we talked about things as usual and I asked a couple of questions about some aches and pains (which are just a lovely, normal part of pregnancy). At the very end of the appointment, she told Chase and I that she wanted us to see a specialist because they couldn’t get a good view of Baby A and that he/she was measuring about a week and a half behind Baby B. She was a little concerned because with our twins being fraternal and each having their own placenta, there shouldn’t be any risk of one twin taking more nutrients than the other, especially not this early in pregnancy.

We were instantly terrified. Our brains went through worst case scenarios faster than anything else and we shared with our families that we were nervous and scared and weren’t sure what was going on. We were reassured by our friends and family that everything was going to be ok and that it would be a good thing going to the perinatologist because they had better equipment.

That weekend waiting was one of the longest waiting periods of my life. We got a call that they would be able to see us the following Monday (only four days after our appointment at my regular doctor). That also scared me. What was so serious that they were able to get us in that quickly? What would we find out?

I prayed so hard that weekend that everything would be ok, but I had a horrible feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. I kept staring at my ultrasound pictures and wondering what could be wrong. I did probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re worried about something, especially a medical something, I googled it. I looked at pictures of other ultrasounds with babies who had Down’s syndrome, Trisomy 18, and all other kinds of chromosomal disorders and genetic disorders, and came across something that I prayed it wasn’t – anencephaly.

We went to the appointment at Savannah Perinatology that following Monday. My heartbeat was racing, but I tried to stay positive and pray that everything would be alright. We went back for the ultrasound and my eyes were again glued to the screen, but this time, it was for a different reason. I was looking for little baby A’s head. I knew everything was ok with him/her and I wanted to see. She started with Baby B and showed us his head and heartbeat and limbs (everything looked perfect), then moved on to Baby A. As soon as she shifted over, I could tell that he was a lot smaller. Then I saw his head. It didn’t look like Baby B’s. It was really odd, but the only way I can describe what I saw was that it looked like roots or branches coming from his head. Where there was supposed to be a nice, thick white line showing his skull, there was nothing but the branch looking things. Chase and I immediately started tearing up and trying to choke back the tears. That’s when the sonographer said, “I’m so sorry. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I can’t just watch you knowing what I see.” She showed us the difference in both of their skulls, then told us that the doctor would be in shortly to see us.

We waited and cried, and cried some more. We still didn’t know what was happening or why it was happening. What did all of this mean? Was our baby going to live? Was it something that I did that made this happen? Why did this happen? Could it be fixed?

The doctor came in to see us. He sat down in his stool and told us that unfortunately, the ultrasounds were showing that Baby A had a condition called anencephaly. I immediately broke down into sobs while Chase was asking what anencephaly was. I told him that it was a fatal condition. We lost it.

To me, everything the doctor said after that felt like knives being stuck into a numb person. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to us. To our perfect babies.

He explained that anencephaly is a rare neural tube defect in which the neural tube (the tube that the head and body grows from) failed to close completely at the top. He explained that this happened about 25 days after conception, before we even knew that we were pregnant. There was nothing that we did that caused this, and unfortunately nothing that we could do to fix it either. The skull of baby A would not form or grow and what looked like the tree branches were parts of his/her brain. Our baby, if he/she grew to full term, would most likely not survive childbirth, and if he/she did, we would most likely have minutes, maybe hours with him/her. 

We talked with a genetic counselor and more with the doctor then, but I hardly remember most of it. All I knew was that everything was different. All of the excitement and joy I had experienced was suddenly tainted. I wondered what the rest of the pregnancy would be like, if Baby A would make it to our next appointment, or if we would get to find out the gender, or if he/she would make it to birth. I wondered how we would tell our family and friends, and how we would tell the rest of the world. How, if baby A made it to birth, how I would be able to bury my baby. How could we even afford a burial? Would we always be thinking of this baby when we looked at his/her brother or sister? How would we get through this?

I had so many questions. Many of them now have answers, but sadly some just don't. I'd like to tell you that everything is fine now and that the diagnosis was a mistake, but it wasn't. I will tell you that although finding out about Alex's condition was devastating, we haven't lost our faith. In the posts to come I will be sharing more about my growing faith and how this pivotal circumstance has challenged me in ways that I never thought possible. I won't be sharing things from Chase's perspective because that is his own story to tell. We would just ask that you pray for Alex's healing, but also that our family would have peace with whatever is in God's will. We don't want attention or recognition (especially in the form of a facebook group), but would love if you shared our story so that others could pray and in the hopes that our story might touch someone else going through something similar. Thank you.

- Courtney

There's TWO in there?!?

The day of our 8 week appointment came, after much impatient waiting. I felt like it would never get here, and I couldn’t wait to see our little peanut. I wasn’t really nervous about anything until I got to the actual doctor’s office. I started to doubt that I was really pregnant, and I hoped that everything was going ok. There’s just so much that can happen for no reason, but I was hopeful. We went into ultrasound first.

The woman took Chase and I back into the dimly lit room, and then I had to leave to go give a “urine specimen.”  (If there’s one thing I’ve learned about pregnancy, it is that there is a lot of pee involved. People checking your pee, having the urge to pee, peeing on yourself…it just goes on and on).

While I was so gracefully peeing in a cup, the sonographer and Chase were talking. Chase told her how originally I had hoped that we would have twins simply because I’ve always been obsessed with the idea of twins, but that they didn’t run in either of our families so we were sure that it was just one in there. He also told her that we hoped it was one because we were seriously considering using a midwife birth center in town. 

The ultrasound started and Chase asked if he could stand by me and hold my hand during the scan. The sonographer told him yes, so he moved closer to me. The instant she started the scan, my eyes were glued to the screen. Because I had binge watched pregnancy ultrasounds and baby shows for practically my whole life, I knew what I was looking for – that sweet, tiny little moving heartbeat. 

And I saw it.

Then, I saw another one. The sonographer asked me if I might want to reconsider the idea of wanting two when it finally clicked. I said, “There’s two! Honey, look, two.” To which Chase replied, “Huh? Two what? Why is there two? Two? That's more than one. Two? Why am I seeing two things?” The sonographer showed us both of their unique heartbeats and that they each had their own sacks. It was the most magical moment of our lives.

We got lots of pictures of our tiny little peanuts (plural, ah!) and then had to go back to the waiting room to wait for the nurse practitioner to see us. We must have had crazy expressions going on because other people were staring at us in the waiting room, and all we said was “twins.” To which everyone, still to this day, either replied with “Oh wow. Are you sure you can handle twins?” or “Double trouble!” or “Say goodbye to ever sleeping.” We couldn’t even think.

I instantly had a million questions. Were they identical or fraternal? (Fraternal) How did this even happen? (I ovulated two eggs) Could I still deliver vaginally? (Sure, depending on baby position)

We had originally planned on announcing the pregnancy at church during the volunteer service since Chase was doing the welcome, but we couldn’t hold it in. We facetimed my family in the parking lot and showed them the ultrasound pictures. They couldn’t believe it. Everyone was just so excited about their being TWO sweet blessings coming into the world.

We told Chase’s family at dinner that night and they were also shocked but super excited for us. I couldn’t believe it. God had not only blessed us with a baby, but with TWO babies. For someone who has always wanted to just be a mom and love children, this was the greatest news. I felt like I was floating on a cloud and instantly began pinning twin everything and thinking about life with two babies and instant siblings. It seemed crazy, but I was so excited to welcome the challenge, but I had no idea how much of a challenge this pregnancy would be. 

Maybe Baby...or Babies

I've been working on this for a while now, but it's taken me until now to get it on the blog and in front of others. This is the start of our pregnancy story. There are some things I can't wait to share, and some things that I'm not so excited about. I don't quite know what I hope for sharing this, but maybe it will be entertaining or informative or touch your heart. Here goes nothing.

Overwhelmed.

That was the word that came to mind the minute we found out we were having twins. Chase and I had been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months, but weren’t really trying too hard. We didn’t want it to seem like a struggle and knew that God would bless us with a baby whenever He felt ready. We were trusting in His perfect timing.

July 31, 2014, rolled around. I had been working all summer at a great program for kids called Horizons, and Chase had been coaching soccer and had just started working at our church as the middle school program director. We were so looking forward to the new school year and all of the great things God had in store. I had such an excitement to be working with middle and high school students at church, and to start a new school year with more experience.

When I first thought I could be pregnant, I was only a couple of days late. I began praying for my future children each night and just telling God that if this was His timing that I hoped we were pregnant. If this wasn’t His time, then I just prayed that He would help me to be patient until that time came. (Sidenote: I have always wanted to be a mom. I’m the oldest of five children, always grew up babysitting, and couldn’t wait to have children of my own. Becoming a mother is and always has been my heart’s desire.)

The day before I took a pregnancy test, I went to Chase’s parent’s house to do some laundry. We didn’t have a washer and dryer at the time, so we would always take ours to their place and just spend time with them or watching tv or using the internet. This particular day, no one was home. I spent over an hour looking at youtube videos of couples doing pregnancy reveals for their friends and families. I watched ultrasound after ultrasound videos of people expecting twins. Then, I watched way too many gender reveal videos. I couldn’t get enough. (You can see some of my favorites here and here) I was overwhelmed with how excited everyone in the videos were to get such great news. I thought about how wonderful children were and I prayed that I could be patient enough to wait until I was able to be that excited.

The night before I took a pregnancy test, I remember walking our dog, Chandler, with Chase around our apartment complex. I told Chase that there was a very good possibility that we were pregnant. He seemed a little surprised, but approached it in a kind of “we’ll see” attitude. (He had heard me say this to him every time I was more than a day late, so it wasn’t new news). I began thinking and asking him how he thought we should tell our families and friends, but he told me not to get ahead of myself and that we would see in the morning and go from there.

Friday morning, July 31^st, 2014, I woke up bright and early and took a pregnancy test. I only had one test left over and I was anxious to see the results. I prayed that the results, whether negative or positive, were the actual results. I didn’t want to see a false positive or negative, and I just wanted God to show me positive or negative. After taking the test, I put the top on, and laid it face down so that I wouldn’t peek at the results. After about 20 seconds, I realized that I probably shouldn’t have put the test down because it could make it inaccurate, so I flipped it over. And I peeked.

It was positive. 

Kroger Simple Truth Organic

Many of you know that I am a BzzAgent, meaning that I complete surveys and get to participate in campaigns for different products where I receive free samples or products in return for my honest opinion. This month, I had the chance to complete the Kroger Simple Truth Organic campaign for BzzAgent. The BzzKit came with two products: The Simple Truth Organic (STO) Ready to Drink Tea Energy Beverage and the STO Dark Chocolate Bar. It also came with a coupon for a free STO Ready to Bake Bread and STO Greek Yogurt Cup. Yum!

I immediately chowed down on the chocolate bar which is USDA certified organic, a fair trade USA product, and contains 55-70% organically grown cocoa. This year I'm really trying to start adding in more natural and organic products into my life from food to beauty products, and this was an easy add to make. This chocolate bar was delicious and smooth. It was gone before you knew it. 

My husband and I both tried the tea after I chilled it in the refrigerator for a couple of hours. I wish that I could say that I drink tea and love it, but sadly I do not. The only tea that I drink is southern and sweet. I'd like to try and add tea into my diet, but it won't be with this tea. If you are a tea drinker, then you would probably love this product, but it just wasn't for me. This tea  offers as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, but with a clean, focused energy and no harsh chemicals. 

We went to Kroger to buy groceries for the week and I was able to (fairly) easily find the STO Ready to bake bread and STO greek yogurt. 

The bread was available in the bakery section. There were two options available, an italian loaf and a multigrain loaf. I chose the italian loaf because we were making pot roast for dinner and I thought it would pair perfectly, and it did. The bread was quick and easy to bake and tasted amazing. I will definitely be repurchasing this bread for my meals instead of rolls. I absolutely loved it. 

The greek yogurt cups were a little harder for me to find, but that's only because I forgot the organic section had a refrigerated section. I first looked in the dairy section, but upon venturing back over to the organic section, there they were. There were many choices that I could select, but I went with the black cherry on the bottom flavor. This greek yogurt was creamy and the fruit on the bottom added a nice sweetness. I will also be repurchasing this product. 

Have you tried any of Kroger's Simple Truth Organic products? If you'd like to try any of the products mentioned above, I received some coupons and would love to share them with you! 

- Courtney 

December Birchbox Review

December was a fabulous month for Birchbox! I absolutely adored the packaging of my box and all of the products I received.

1. Davines Replumping Superactive - This product was a great one to have included in my box, because I also got to sample the Davines Replumping Shampoo and Conditioner. I love when the entire line is provided so that you can get a good feel for the overall effect. Some people don't like receiving the small samples, because they generally only give you one, but I don't mind. It's also nice because you have 2 extra products to review and earn birchbox points for!

The Replumping Superactive is supposed to thicken fine hair and give your hair back that umph that everyone wants. Overall, I liked this product. I have normal to thick hair, but I could definitely tell a difference after using the shampoo, conditioner, and spray. My hair felt clean but definitely thicker and fuller. My only con with the product is the smell. To me, it was similar to citronella which was a little off putting, especially since other Davines products I've sampled have had floral and delicate scents.
Full size: $39.50 for Davines Replumping Superactive
$25.50 for the shampoo, and $25.50 for the conditioner.

2. Royal Apothic Cuppa Cuppa Firming Tea Treatment Mask - I love using masks on my face because I feel pampered, and they make my skin feel extra soft and clean. This clay mask is infused with a blend of exotic teas and is supposed to leave skin smoother, firmer and more radiant. This mask has a great smell (almost like an herbal tea) and the sample has already lasted me 3 uses and I've got a little under half of the package left. I love how it made my face feel and for a clay mask, it wasn't too drying. It also has some texture in the mask that gives your skin a nice exfoliating treatment. Full size $58.00

Hiding inside the cute little pocket were 3 amazing products.
3. English Laundry Signature for Her perfume - The description says that this scent was inspired by classic country gardens and that it melts top notes of rose geranium with a backdrop of woody spice and musky notes. After one spray of this sample, I was hooked. It smells so deliciously sweet and feminine, but it really reminded me of Britney Spear's Fantasy perfume that I used when I was in high school. Which is still a good thing for me, because I absolutely loved that perfume, but it can become overly sweet if  used too often.
Full size: $70.00 for 1.7 oz.

4. W3LL PEOPLE Bio Brightener Stick - This organic formula gives skin a soft and subtle glow and minimizes the appearance of imperfections, hydrates, and nourishes skin. This product came in a pot instead of the stick, but I think the effect is still the same, I just use my fingers to apply. I use this product mainly as a highlighter and love the effect it gives. It's not too shiny or shimmery and I like that there isn't any glitter effect to it. I also like that it is a natural product as I am trying to start using more of those. This sample will last me a while.
Full size: $33.00

5. Mirenesse Mattfinity Lip Rouge in Sydney - I am not big into wearing lip products, but I was excited to try this as it supposed to give a matte effect and be long lasting. The shade was perfect for Christmas and it was very easy to apply. I found it to be long lasting, definitely matte, and hydrating. Again, this sample is one that will last me a while so I don't think I'll be purchasing.
Full size: $29.00

Overall, I really liked my box this month and I got some great products that I will continue to use. I also appreciated the fact that I had 7 products in my box, which gave me 70 points ($7) to spend in the birchbox store making this box really only cost $3. You cannot beat that. If you aren't reviewing your products, you're crazy, and you need to do so!! Can't wait to see what comes in my January box!

- Courtney

New Year...

New Year, new blog ideas! I'm not going to comment on how long I have not posted a blog post because it's just sad. But I'm excited to get back into the swing of things and am going to be revamping my blog a bit.

What can you expect from this blog?
1. Product reviews - I'm still in love with birchbox, so expect to see reviews and all that good stuff,

2. My Pregnancy Story and all things baby because I'm also going to be a MOM this year! In about 10 weeks to be exact, and I definitely have a story to tell with my pregnancy and about my boys - that's right, fraternal twin boys - Sam and Alex...but more about them later.

3. Natural Products, Tips and Tricks, DIY, etc. I also am trying to do better with eating right and taking control of my health and what I put in and on my body (I'll be trying some all natural, vegan products this year too!).

So I have a lot to be excited about and so much to share. I hope that you can share and relate to this blog as well, so I look forward to reading your comments.

- Courtney